Phani vs. Phani

Those were the years when I was pursuing my first year of my B.Sc at my native place. Our college was so called Sir.C.R.R Autonomous college which is well known for strikes, boycotts and etc. The students were so adapted with the culture where they feel bored if no strike happens thrice a month. No one expects to listen the classes.....and ofcourse and even the lecturers never teach anything great in the class.

So how can any one pass ????

There comes the morning tuition's where all the professors who does not teach in the class teaches so professionally in the morning tuition classes with a separate fee. From my last posts one can understand I am less than a below average student in studies and especially Mathematics was nightmare for me in all three years. First year Mathematics was a biggest challenge for my life in those days. So I joined the morning tuition class for Mathematics class which is taught my dad's friend called KCR[we call all our teaches with acronyms] and he is our Mathematics HOD during my studies. I was a below average student and most irregular to my college class but I was always regular to my tuition's.

Now starts the real beginning......

It was month of September 1997, as been a rainy season it was raining heavily on early in the morning. I got up late and started running for class kicking my cycle hard to reach the class time......Just like a thunderstorm I saw a girl coming opposite in direction when i just landed at my tuition center. It was first time I saw that girl in that area. She is very handsome, good height, fair enough and whats all ... A small crush started over her for the same minute.

I do not know her name, where does she stay, whats she is doing and etc and etc.

So I have decided to find her name and all other details about the girl. I started following after she is back from her class and was able to find her house after following her. Every evening i used cycle twice around her house to just give my attendance to her. One day unexpectedly my cousin came to same house and saw me there.

Cousin: Hey Bava, what are doing her....roaming around any girl ? with wild stupid smile.....
I was not shocked for his question, but was shocked later to know that girl is my cousin's cousin.
Me: No Bava, nothing like that just came here like that....
I know he is not convinced with my answer.

In just a couple of days, I was able to gather all the information about her....studing Intermediate Second year in St. Theresa College, same caste, has one elder sister[she is my friend's girl friend] and required details. All the details found like a best match for me....and you know the best match between me and her is name, the girl name is Phani too..

I shared the same details to my friends like Murthy, Nani and Sridhar. From the next day they started teasing me and her like calling "Phani...Phani..." every time she passes away or calling like "Hey Phani what is the time" and what not...every thing. She never took it serious and use laugh for all our comments. Days passed, I used to follow her daily to her tuition and come back to my tution. She used turn back and used a give small glimpse and a small smile like a cool breeze. I felt that is the GREEN flag for my love track.

One fine day after a deep breathe, I have decided to express my feeling to her and bought a small teddy bear to express my love[Can any one remember Yeh Hai Prem teddy bear...Preity Jinganiya and Abbas song]. I was so exicted and so tensed waiting the next morning to express my love.

Finnaly the next day morning I followed her as usual and waited for her until she completed her class. She came back from the class and was about pass me away where I am waiting for her near to the her class.

I called and she stopped...."Hi Phani....How are you...I thought I will give you this and gave her the teddy bear". She was so scared and hestitated to take it, some how i could give it her and ran back with out turning my face back. I was so happy to give that teddy bear to her, but I do not know what was her response as I ran immediately from there. The next day I could not find her and came to know she did not come to class from her friends.

After two days, I again found Phani and followed her to know her response...but I could not. So i have waited there near the same place. She just completed her class was about to pass me away....now came the actual problem, my cousin came there.

Cousin: Hey Phani, what are you doing here.
Me: Nothing, just going to my class.
Cousin: Do not tell stupid stories Bava.
Phani just passed away.......
Cousin: Phani, this is wrong, why are you following my sister.
Me: I not following her, she even like me.
Me: But this is not your business, she is not your own sister and why are you so bothered ?
Cousin: Why is it not my business, she is close relative of ours. I will tell your dad.
Me: Do whatever you want. I LOVE HER and SHE DO.

The argument went very high and very long.....and finnaly he slapped me on my face...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was shocked and did not expect him to behave like that. He is my close relative too....

I stopped talking to my cousin, he used to study in the same college. I was so angry and I was not able to do him anything because all my friends and his friends too....

Finnaly I have realized that it was my mistake to behave with the girl like that, following her daily and giving some gifts and etc and started being normal with my cousin again.

From day after that incident I never followed her again and never tried to talk to her.

But why did she used to turn back and give a small smile every day ???????

Cheers..............

No Bus please....

I can never forget that day in my life. After that situation happened I was so scared to travel in bus and rather aisle [non-window] seat. This happened sometime around the last quarter of 2003 when I was in Bangalore.

Though I was not so punctual of myself and in my habits, but i always have a habit of booking my travel ticket. I hate the last minute tensions. On that day I was forced to travel to Chennai to collect some missing certificates which i need to post to an University in Netherlands very urgently. As it been a weekend, all the buses were fully crowded and I also missed the Lalbag train. But somehow I could able to manage to get a ticket to Chennai...where my fate started running bad which i could not notice. Also I did purchase my bad fate with double the rate of actual ticket.

I had my quick supper in Kamat@Kempe Gowda Bus Station and started waiting for the bus. A middle aged person was sitting "just beside" me in waiting room started introducing his as a Marketing Manager in some company. I quickly understood that the person is a mind freaker type and escaped from there with a silly reason, but It happened so that the person was next to my seat in the bus.

Me: F**k, how can i travel with this freak all the way to Madras
i love to call it as it is...instead of Chennai
Me: Let me check if can change the place in the bus, and asked the conductor about swapping seats.
Conductor: Sirjee, do you really know that you're the luckiest person to get at least a ticket in bus and now you want to change the seat.
Conductor: No way Sirjee, no way.
Me: Who can the change the fate for which I need to struggle the whole night? So decided to go ahead as no way now to change the seat.

The bus has started sometime around 11 pm and I quickly went to sleep. The person next to me tried to wake me upon, but i was slept so deeply and did not respond to him. I had some good dreams in the sleep, so i had good sleep till...... Not sure abt the exact time but it was around 3 am I heard someone yelling in the bus which I think ignored in my subconscious sleep for the first time. The voice pitch has been increased; I just opened my eyes and tried to analyze what’s happening. But after a while that voice started disturbing my sleep continuously which got me into my conscious sleep, that is when I had to open my eyes. I just opened my eyes and tried to analyze what’s happening. I couldn’t understand who is shouting at whom as I cannot see without my glasses. I wore my glasses and then i came to know that it was a girl about 21 yrs in the parallel row back to our seat and she was yelling at
ME.

I could not understand what her problem was.
Me: Ma'am what is your problem, why are you yelling at me.
Immediately she started off saying Idiot, Stupid etc etc
She : Dont you know what you have done ?Thats it.
I couldnt hold my temper listening to her going on and on and finally had to break out...........
Me: - Stop you...why the hell are you shouting at me, speak out wat u hav to say, I cant read your mind?. What is your problem?

This discussion went on for 10 minutes and I never got to know wat her problem was? and a passenger in the adjacent seat interfered to say please calm down as you are disturbing the other passengers.

I was not able to sleep after that argument. Thinking what could have happened, why was She yelling on me? What could have i done to her ? Did some one else misbehaved in night and is she thinking that me ? I had 100+1 questions in my mind.

The clock ticked 5 am and bus just reached the Chennai outskirts, I decided not to get down at my place and want to talk to her wherever she gets down. I skipped my stop, she got down at Koyambedu and I did so get down. I tried to talk to her but I could not as her parents arrived to station to pick her up, so I missed to talk to her. It was my unanswered question till date –

Why did the girl yell at me?

Keep Smiling....

Recalling the old days..

This week when i just driving my bike and thinking about the weekend blog...i felt i would share my SWUEEET memories which i can never forgot.

Lets start with my most foolish act till date !!!!

Year 1993 – May be I was doing my 7th or 8th standard…
I did join higher schooling at Vijayawada as a residential student. Our class has three sections; the section which I was has the least number of girls, whereas the other sections have the almost equal ratio of girls. I felt -Why are you so unlucky ***Phani**** always…why do the GOD do injustice to you always?????

Later days, somehow I could manage to exchange the words with the girls in my other sections. But I did always have a crush/interest of only girl, Tanuja. [This was not my first crush...i had many even before…I forgot many of their names too] Days passed, I could able make friendship with Tanuja and we became quite good friends. Slowly I realized that I love her.

It was Rakhi festival day….as I did my schooling earlier in my native place where were not aware of Rakhi festival. There was a unique craze in my Vijayawada school where the guy has more Rakhi’s to his hand is treated as the hero and of course the most happening guy in class. This made me think if someone ties Rakhi is one who loves you.

I was thinking all day about the same Rakhi thing and it was almost the evening supper time. I did even complete my supper, but still I was thinking a lot and lot. Finally I thought I will ask Tanuja to tie me a Rakhi. I have already prepared a gift for her…that’s my Omega geometry box.

After my supper I called her asked her to tie me Rakhi…She was shocked I did notice her feelings…but as I asked she tied me the Rakhi and I gifted her. The day next, she stopped speaking to me…..!!! I did not understand why.
I shared the same to my friend…..he laughed and finally told me that Rakhi stands for relationship between brother and sister.

I cursed again my fate and my stupid act. ;)

I still remember that day on every Rakhi Pournami and laugh heartfully everytime.

Bottom Line: Why did Tanuja stopped talking to me ? Any guesses ;)

To start with......

To start writing a blog and even think about..I took more than an normal softie would take. You may ask me why??
I did thought I will never open my laptop after back to home from office. I used to hate to look at my laptop or talk about a technology or something which is merely related to any software or IT. But some incidents in life will bring a difference of thought in a person - I believe it seriously.

I was a Post Graduate in Computer Science where I never believed I would be settled as BA for one of the best profit making company. Of course in realistic, I never believed I would get a job at all....my academic records was so good.
One of my HR friend still stays - "Hey Phani...you would never be called even for an interview for this company" if you're not an employee for us. I try to criticse him and their HR team just to cover that discussion. But my heart says its right.

Pradeep was Maria Puzi's movie name and still believe he was who gave a life and whole kartha and kriya for what I am here now. He founded the company currently which I am working now. Though he is not in the company with us now, but I was one of 90% people who likes him...still....and even still in future.

I was an below average student till my post-graduation, failed many times again and again. I fought toughly with my books and benches and papers slips, so did my dad fought tough with college management to complete my graduation in 4 years. At finally I did it...haah I did it man just an year late.

Not really sure what made to score far far better than I never expected in my PG, I would say one reason the great Madras University which gave 76%. You know my average graduation score till PG were not more than 47%.

The only strength everyone says about me, I speak straight. I really do not call it as advantage...it’s really disadvantage many times and many times. But still why did hold that stupid behavior ? I never felt that was stupid strength of my until I faced the pain myself.

To be continued......